Still, there are jokes to be cracked amid a difficult year. In what’s now an annual tradition, we updated the Modern Retail Dictionary with the hottest topics and most groan-inducing cliches our editors and reporters came across in their inboxes this year. And, what we really think when we read them. See past entries here, here and here.
From all of us at Modern Retail, may your new year be filled with fewer buzzwords.
15-minute delivery: A way to get discounted groceries for a month, until the delivery service runs out of business
AI expert: Someone who used ChatGPT once
Affiliate marketing: We hired a PR agency
Attribution software: A way for CMOs to justify their marketing spend, or a way to start a fight on DTC Twitter
Buy now, pay later: Debt, but branded for Gen Z
Commitment to value: Pushing more private label products
Demand challenges: We thought pandemic growth would last forever
Diversification: Spending 70% of your marketing budget on Facebook instead of 80%
DTC brand: Now basically any brand with a Shopify store and an Instagram account
EBITDA: Not the same as profits!
Erewhon: A place where influencers post photos of their groceries
Experiential retail: This store was designed to be Instagrammed
Gen Zalpha: A brand’s way of pretending they are still going to be relevant by the time Gen Alpha grows up
Grocery delivery: We use Instacart
Hired ahead of revenue growth: We thought we could raise VC money forever
Inflation: A word that appeared in every memo in 2022
Meet the customer where they are: Our explanation for why we, a premium brand, are on Amazon
Metaverse experience: We launched a store on Roblox
Non-dilutive startup funding: Debt
Phygital experiences: Brands that went all-in on e-commerce during the pandemic, and are frantically trying to pivot back to…